Thrice is Nice!

File this under things I love. While I'm sketching and painting I like to listen to music. The bands Thrice and This Will Destroy You are my latest obsessions. This is a great acoustic version of Thrice's song "The Whaler" from their album The Alchemy Index.

Coming Home

Another sketch using the Harmonious app on the iPad. Inspired by a photo I saw of captured German soldiers in WWII.

The toll of war is heart wrenching. You can see it in the eyes of those coming home after their service has ended. I had a friend tell me once he killed enemies and saw friends die when he served in Iraq.

"Sometimes," he said, "I think I died with them."

"That's terrible," I said after a few moments.

He took a long drag on a cigarette and exhaled slowly, nodding, and then rubbing his hands together against the cold of an early winter in Georgia.I remembered when were both younger, just reckless youths, he confessed to me how he heard ghosts moving around in the rented row house his family lived in at the time. I told him the creaks and groans he heard were probably the result of an old house settling at night. He said no. I was wrong. They whispered to him.

His eyes were hollow then.

"I'm pretty sure your buddies would want you to live your life. You know...survive."

He stretched his arms wide against the blistered sky and shivered. A mockingbird flew across the parking lot and over trees and out of sight.

"I wasn't talking about my buddies. I meant the ones I took."

He ground his cigarette out with his boot heel. They were construction boots for his new job, his new life - sturdy and dark with steel toes. He dressed the part.

"Come on. Let's go inside. It's getting cold out here." He clapped me on the back and turned to go. "My nipples are so hard, I think I could dial a rotary phone with them." And then he laughed. Just like old times.

I couldn't see his eyes.

The Crow

Lately, I've been using a quirky sketchbook app for my iPad called Harmonious. Instead of traditional line sketches, the app makes use of spidery webs, glowing circles, ribbon lines, rectangular boxes, furry lines, and other strange shapes. It's a fun way to make a quick sketch that you can save or post online at the harmonious gallery (I'm under the label Rok: http://harmoniousapp.com/search/user/Rok . This is a quick sketch I did using the app based on a George McLean crow painting I saw once. I use a Wacom Bamboo stylus with my iPad.

Cat Poo and the Sweet Hereafter

On Friday we laid my wife’s sweet Mamaw to rest in Alabama and two days later I stepped in cat poo on the way to church. How’s that for coincidence? Of course, I took it as a sign.

It’s funny how some odd pairings stick with you. You don’t think they fit together at all, like random pieces from two different puzzles, and you push them aside in frustration or brush them off without another thought. But sometimes, if you’re particularly obsessed with the meaning of it all, you take another look at those disparate parts and you assign them meaning. And sometimes they just fit –like cornbread and mayonnaise.

 So, how do cat poo and the hereafter go together? I’m so glad you asked.

Maybe they do and maybe they don’t. (How’s that for armchair philosophy!!)

Here’s the truth: I’ve been scared to start this blog. Why? I’ve been scared for a number of reasons, some them reasonable (Who cares?) and some unreasonable (Will this blog haunt me should I ever run for President of the World after the nuclear apocalypse?). Here’s a reasonable top ten:

1. You may read it, frequently or infrequently. Equally scary.
2. You may love it or hate it. Or both. At the same time, like those guilty pleasure movies (looking at you     Roadhouse) that run late night on cable.
3. I’m of many minds and I want them to all get along and play nice. They don’t.
4. I don’t always play nice.
5. I hate squirrels and I don’t want to be judged for hating those miniature tree demons.
6. What if I have nothing to say?
7. What if I blurt it all out?
8. I wonder if real writers, with real careers and readers, write blogs.
9. Are blogs out of date? Like MySpace?
10. I don’t tweet…

But, here I am, finally. I can’t live in fear; not of failing, of being judged, or even of stepping in it. My wife’s grandmother was a sweet lady. She cared for her family and for strangers she met along the way. Her laugh was contagious and her work ethic was notable. She wasn’t afraid to start numerous business ventures or own several properties at the same time. Why should I be afraid to take a chance?  I don’t want to live my life with silly regrets. It seems disrespectful to Mamaw’s memory and to the people who have encouraged me along the way (Including the college student who enthusiastically approached me almost two years ago after a reading on our local university campus to ask if I had a website or blog where he could go and read more of my writing).

As for the cat poo, while I may occasionally blindly step in “it” with my opinions, I can only hope the smell lingers for a short time and you forgive my missteps.

Plus, I need a place to vent about squirrels and I’ve already been banned from three forums on the subject. (Really?!! – The name of your forum is I-HATE-SQUIRRELS, but I’m too harsh for your boards. Is full squirrel annihilation too much to ask?)

Anyway, here it is. For all the people who said go for it- family, friends, mentors and the guy who wanted to hear/read more.

Squirrels beware!